Things That Annoy Me

While I do complain a lot, more often that not I am right. Here is a list of things that annoy me and probably annoy you as well.

Women's basketball scores on ESPN's "Bottomline" - Countless minutes have been wasted as the bottomline informs that yes, the Indiana Fever defeated the Connecticut Sun 51 to 49 in a double overtime thriller. Beyond that I am also inundated with knowledge that Tamika Catchings grabbed 7 rebounds and had the game winning lay up. I'm sorry but the only network that has viewers who actually care about the WNBA is Bravo. I also petition ESPN to highlight college women's scores in pink. I recently found out that Bill Simmons stole this idea from me and I can only assume one of my traitorous friends leaked this fantastic idea.

Verification codes used by Ticketmaster and other websites to prevent use of automated programs - These codes are fine in their conception but more often than not I can't even tell if the image is showing a I, l, or 1. And don't even get me started with 0, O, and D. Is it really that hard to have a picture of something that a normal person can read?

Plastic Packaging - is there anything more frustrating than having to use a hacksaw to cut your way through multiple layers of plastic to just get one measly cell phone battery? I'm not one to get a boner for protecting the environment but this can't be a very environment friendly way of protecting items.

Celebrities who use their influence to try to inform/sway people - It really is hilarious when George Clooney lectures about how he is personally trying to save the environment by driving an electric car. Last year alone he flew more than 10,000 miles on private jets thus creating a carbon footprint 20 times more than the average American, and that isn't even counting other aspects of his life. Clooney is not alone, other douche bags like Tim Robbins and Curt Schilling try and pontificate their righteous views onto us. These fellows watch a couple of segments on CNN or Fox News and low and behold they are noble laureates on the subject. Please, for society's sake, just continue to pretend to be someone else (acting) or throw your baseball.

Sand - Could there be a bigger tormentor of the human body? Also it allows all kinds of pesky creatures to burrow up and make a home. Not to mention it searches out every crevasse of your body. Honestly, it is only good for damning rivers and sand volleyball.

8 teams winning a state title for high school football in the state of Illinois last year - This extends to all sports in Illinois, but especially football. In my world there would be one division for every sport. Why should smaller schools be catered to? Is this AYSO where everyone is a winner? Besides, with multiple divisions stories like "Hoosiers" can never happen. There no longer is the underdog but instead more confusion and debate. For the last ten years or so the Joliet Catholics and Sacred Heart Griffins of the world have won state championships right along side the Napervilles and Lockports. But who is the better team? Nobody knows yet each of them claims to be THE state champion.

Be Unique. Be Greek - I'm sorry but this slogan is simply hysterical. Let me first say I have no problem with people in frats, sorry fraternities, or sororities it just isn't for me. But ask anyone on a campus and they can usually describe someone from a frat with a few adjectives. While not everyone fits his or hers supposed profile, it is generally true. Honestly, what is unique about wearing the same t-shirt, short shorts, purse, and scrunchy a hundred other girls are wearing? In my world that's a uniform, which if found in a dictionary doesn't have the word unique associated with it.

I'm sure there are others that I can't think of now but more importantly, what bothers you?

Also a few videos I find amusing -

"Warren Wallace"

"Thriller Part Deux"

"Kip Hill"

"South Carolina's Education System in Action"

I just found this and almost fell on the floor laughing so hard -







Background information on Travis Henry for those who don't get it - Travis Henry has nine bastard children and is being sued for child support from his latest baby's momma.

Me and Tecate Down By My Coffee Table

Alright so it is Wednesday night, I have no homework due the rest of the week, a bottle of pinot noir, 6 Tecate lights, and a sweet ass Paul Simon concert (in HD). So my question is this: am I a loser for sitting here in my underwear, getting drunk and rocking out to Paul Simon?

Obviously I don't think so but at the same time I know some of you miscreants out there probably thinks so. First if you must criticize me I recommend trying it once. Seriously, get back from work or school, go to your room, open a case of Miller or Bud or whatever and pop in a Nine Inch Nails, Grateful Dead, or Dave Matthews Band concert and just sit back and relax. I'm serious, just give it a chance. This is also a great remedy for our constant war of attrition with boredom. Anyways about 3 or 4 beers into this great activity you really begin to get into it. You aren't there but in a way you are. I just close my eyes and there I am, circa 1983, Paul comes on to the stage and bam! Call me Al.

The other advantage to a concert over a television show or movie is that you don't need to pay attention to what is going on and you can casually absorb it. Seriously what an awesome time especially when all your friends ditch you with home work or night shifts (gay ass Gene). Also I can not say enough about the majesty of HD. I hope that a one Mike Morgan can finally admit that rather than making every channel worse HD is truly badass. Seriously one of the greatest investments I made was my HD TV. Sweet Ass.

This paragraph goes out to Paul Simon. I sit here and listen to song after awesome song written by you. Seriously, you are the man. Unlike some artists that had bursts of greatness (Paul McCartney) you have been writing awesome music for 40 years now. Also all you asswipes who say that Paul McCartney's new song is sweet are either brain dead or subscribe to the Church of Sir Paul. Anyways, Paul Simon also has a very diverse offering and wide range of themes and song topics. Go download or buy his anthology and name me one song that is just ok. I only hope he goes on tour again and gives people like me one chance to see his greatness in person.

Anyways let me know if you think I am a loser. I won't care either way because I have nothing better to do. In the words of Paul Simon -

"This is the long distance call,
The way the camera follows us in slo-mo
The way we look to us all,
The way we look to a distant constellation
That's dying in a corner of the sky"

Things I was totally wrong on.

People often say that "you never admit to being wrong" but this is not true. While not many, there are a few thing I have been wrong on.

iPod - Yeah so I was completely wrong here. I told people that they were stupid and that I liked having my CD collection with me so people could thumb through it and have an idea of what I like. I am now on my second iPod and love not having to lug around a CD case everywhere I go. Steve Jobs is now 1 for 1,200.

Alcohol - Yeah so I thought drinking was stupid and that you could have fun without doing so. While that opinion is still true drinking adds to the fun and creates fun where it sometimes may not be found. Also like I said a few years back, I drink to compete.

2005 White Sox - While my declaration of them not being a good team is finally coming true, alas it is a few years too late. The thing that bugged me about the 2005 White Sox was this notion of "grinder ball." That year they were in the top 5, possibly #1, in percentage of runs scored via the home run. Also the main reason they won was because of their starters. But congrats is due and they were indeed the best team in baseball that year.

Tayshaun Prince - not a whole lot to talk about I just thought he would be a good college player and nothing more.

Mike Conley Jr. - I thought he was nothing more than a guy who fed the ball to Oden and was riding his coattails all the way to O$U. I saw him get lit up by Proviso East's Jacob Pullen and thought to myself this guy is really overrated. I was wrong and he turned out to be the best point guard in college.

Capital Punishment - I was at one point a fry em, fry em all kind of guy. However a priest at St. Isaac Jogues presented an argument that turned me over instantly and to this day I disagree with the death penalty.


Also some funny links -

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/johncheese/bands/overrated.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7NrPJBOQcc&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin%2Ecom%2F

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utsHE5xWges&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eg4tv%2Ecom%2Fthefeed%2Fblog%2Fdate%2F05102007%2Findex%2Ehtml

Blue Chips & Other Movies That You Can't Stop Watching

Hi All. So this is my first entry to the world of blogs and I figured that if there was anyone who needed to share/force his thoughts on others it was me. Hopefully you will like it.

So onto my subject title. Last night instead of going to bed around 11 I stayed up another hour watching Blue Chips. Any movie that combines Nick Nolte and Shaq is going to be a great flick. Throw in cameos from Bobby Knight, Jim Calhoun, Jim Boeheim, Tark the Shark, and Larry Bird and you have yourself a classic. But wait there is more... the starting point guard for Indiana (also there is no way Indiana or any of those coaches does a movie like this today) is none other than Bobby Hurley. I think the reason I get hooked everytime is you think that mayeb just maybe the ending will be different. Hoping that Shaq turns down the Lexus and Ricky and Anfernee Hardaway get kicked off the team. But alas...on to other can't stop watching classics.

The Rock - I feel any Nicholas Cage movie would suffice such as National Treasure or Con Air but the Rock is slightly more addicting and heres why. Sean Connery, a sweet car chase, a tourist attraction, and Sean Connery. Seriously he needs to make more movies because he is the ultimate bad ass.

Armageddon - This movie is simply terrible, yet I can't stop watching. I mean no one has actually seen the beginning of this movie, where Liv Tyler is speaking Japanese, yet we all know the part where Steve Buschemi is going out to the strip clubs before the mission. Also deep down we all want to see Ben Afflecks super truck eat it and not make the jump. Also the part where they visit MIR, genius.

Big Lebowski - To this day I have never seen the beginning scene. This movie is so good you always watch it and laugh just as hard as you did the first time. And talk about a cast, Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore Steve Buschemi and Academy Award winner Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the butler. I also think that you notice something different every time which always makes it a little more fun to watch.

Tin Cup - This is another one of Ted Turner's favorite movies, seriously its on TNT or TBS at least once every two weeks. Kevin Costner and Cheech Marin are fantastic and Rene Russo is not bad to look at. On a side note Rene Russo and Jamie Lee Curtis have to captain the all overrated team. I'm sorry I just don't get it. Anyways the appeal here is obvious, I swear we all watch it just hoping he lays up, knowing full well he won't. The ending is perfect because rather than changing who he is, Tin Cup just accepts his limitations and embraces who he is.

Twister - This movie is beyond terrible but you just can't stop watching. Bill Paxton line of "he's in it for the money not the science" is so terrible it belongs in the worst movie lines of all time. Yet I think we all watch because one, tornadoes are awesome, and two because watching Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton tying themselves to water pipes and floating inside a F5 tornado never gets old.

Diggstown - Nobody, and I mean nobody besides me knows about this movie. James Woods, Louis Gossett Jr., Oliver Platt, and an extremely young Heather Graham round out the cast on this awesome boxing flick. Main point of the plot is that James Woods makes a bet that he knows a guy who can beat 10 men in one day. The stakes rise after every fight and murder, corruptions, and cheating are rampant. This movie is just awesome.

Honorable Mention - Legend of Bagger Vance, Shawshank Redemption (this movie is so good, too good to be on this list, also has to be Ted Turner's favorite movie, I feel like its on TNT every Sunday), any movie with Nicholas Cage (Con Air, Gone in 60 Seconds, National Treasure) and Top Gun.

Also, make sure to post your own favorites in the comments section.